Different

Being a parent of a child with Down syndrome can come with a number of potential worries.  Medical issues, financial issues, independence issues....

Somehow with Grace, these aren't my worries.

Don't get me wrong.

If I could take away her medical struggles - past, present and future - I'd do it in a heartbeat.  But these medical things aren't a true worry with me.  Sure, there are moments, but they are way outnumbered by the moments of trust in Grace's strength and resiliency.

If I could take away her frustrations in trying to accomplish something that is easily done by others her age I would.  But these frustrations have shaped her ever-growing tenacity, and she continues to show everyone that independence in life is totally within her reach.

My biggest worry?

How people will treat her.  I dread middle school for her.

All parents want to protect their children from heartache.  But knowing in advance that there will be times Grace will be picked on, dismissed, laughed at and misunderstood because of her disability....that kills me.

This weekend was my first glimpse of it.  We were at a playground near my parents and as we were walking up toward the slide, a boy around 7 or 8 said loudly "Dad, what is WRONG with that person?!" after Grace had smiled, waved and said hi, and reached out to grab his hand.  It hit me harder than I expected.  Now, it could have just been that her stylish dress was different than what he was used to at the playground.  Or her friendliness.  But the tone and look of disgust in his face told me differently.

Thankfully it was quickly redeemed by a great dad who chose to teach his child by saying that wasn't a nice thing to say, that everyone is different including him, and that there was NOTHING wrong with her.  Then high-fived Grace.  Hope restored.

We've been fortunate to not have been exposed to this at all.  Perhaps it's living in New York City, where on a typical commute to work you might see a fake Elmo holding his Elmo head in his arms in the subway while texting, or a naked cowboy playing guitar, or people of all races, or people speaking different languages, or two people of the same sex holding hands.  Here in NYC, ironically, we've been sheltered by being surrounded by so many people who are different.

Recently at our local playground, Grace "won" a contest held by 3 8-year old girls who rewarded her with a weed and a feather.  Their contest involved giving them your name and being interested in their contest.  Grace tried to hug one of them so she was a shoe-in.  They yelled her name across the playground.  "The winner is Grace!   The winner is Grace!"  The next visit a little girl followed Grace around and imitated everything she did.

I know the good will outshine the bad for Grace, and I trust we can teach her self worth so that these things don't affect her as much as they do me.  I guess in the end it will be Grace teaching me.